Afridi, the cheater: Afridi, the Pathan

Pathans are known for doing things which sometimes feel extra-ordinary, naive and supremely stupid. Afridi is no different. When Pakistan is loosing a match and Afridi is at the pitch, he won't - will never - try and stay at the crease. Not for himself and not for his team. Come what may.

This time it is no different. And the story making rounds in world newspapers is not only embarrassing but outrageous. Afridi was caught on camera chewing the ball in our times when cameras can focus on a locust sitting on your opponent's butt. And so on. Cameras also capture the embarrassing rubs the players do while on the fields. So how could Afridi have gotten away from chewing the ball. This is not ball tampering; it is the rape of the cricket ball by a player who is loved by all lovers of cricket.

I am surprised, therefore, to find only a mild penalty of banning him for two 20-20s. Only two matches. That is a sick joke on the game itself. Please ban him for life. Playing for Pakistan is no reason to cheat. What he actually means is that in Pakistan cheating is considered safe, that it is good to cheat, and so on.

PCB is a sick body but it would be mentally retarded to leave Afridi on his own. Please ban him for life. Please. We are sick of such crooks.

Why no-one shoots Pakistan Cricket Team?

Yes, that's the point: Why no one shoots Pakistan Cricket team and dump their bodies on the pitches where IPL is to be played? Why, O, why?

After continuously making clowns of themselves and of the general public (me and you and our dolly President, Zardari bhai) and saying all sorts of bachkana things like the one statement given by Umer Akmal on the dismissal of his brother, Kamran, after horrible four dropped catches by the big bro.

And now, Pakistan has lost badly the second one day against Australia. Margin? Australia scored 267 earlier whereas lame duck Pakistanis scored 127 All Out. And still yet, they are as shameless as ever. Their beards are not helping them hide the infighting which seems to be taking place among the various team members at the moment. We have too many former captains in line in this team, which may be contributing to such horrible showing in Australia. Shahid Afridi, Shoib Malik and Yonus Khan are among the former captains. How can they accept the captaincy of Yosuf, who is a loose captain in any case?

Is it the right time to over haul the entire cricket setup. Needless to say, yes. A big Yes. And we need to give PCB to Imran Khan. No other person at the moment seems to know any cricket management. And please, Javed Miandad, you shut up your big mouth. Thanks.

Oh, please do not shoot Muhammad Amir and Muhammad Asif and Umer Gul and that brilliant Hindu bowler, Denish Kaneria. Shoot all the batsmen, though!