If Zardari remains President of Pakistan for 20 years....

Then, following is expected;

1) Pakistan will become a colony of USA / World Bank / UK.

2) All Pakistani cities will have a casino dedicated to the memory of Benazir Bhutto and their title would be Shaheed Bhutto Casino.

3) Half of the population will sleep naked.

4) Girls from all class and all ethnic groups would be sold in open market.

5) Males of Pakistani origin would die of hunger; they would also serve under their gora masters.

6) Zardari would have then married three times, killing his wives after their insurance(s) have matured.

7) All industries would give Zardari a profit of 85%; rest will go to their original masters.

8) Islamabad would have by then be renamed as NON-ISLAM-ABAD

9) Zardari would be the richest men in the history of this world surpassing Firoun and Nimrud of ancient times and Bill Gates and King Faisal of our times.

10) Every second property would belong to Zardari.

11) Pakistan would be renamed as ZARDARI-TAN.

Marriott Hotel suicide attack

It is once again that we've seen a truck loaded with explosives (some say it was a car) ramming into the building. Last time it was FIA center in Lahore and more than 50 died that day. This time it is a favorite hotel for foreign visitors as well as local elite. From the photographs and the video it is very clear that nothing of the hotel is left except for the carcass. It is a sad reminder of things going too bad for us.

Who can blow up fellow Muslims in the holy month of Ramazan Sharif?

Our brand new Security Macho and Zardari-favourite, Mr. Rehman Malik, tells us that it can't be a Muslim. Well, most probably it is a Muslim from somewhere in FATA or probably Swat valley, where intense military operation is under way. So called Pakistani Taliban and their friends, Mujaheddin, have been fighting our forces, blowing up girls' schools, killing men suspected of aiding USA; trucks carrying oil supplies from Karachi inside Afghanistan for NATO forces have been targeted; trains carrying supplies have been derailed. And we've seen lot of other attacks openly being carried out against our various security agencies. And yet we have no solution. Just before this devastating attack (some say a 1000 Kg of explosives may have been used to create a 15ft deep Crater) we were listening to Mr. Zardari telling us that he has this vision to fight out the terrorists. And lo, terrorists struck again, this time in a zone marked as 'Red'. Either we've lost every sense of the term or we just can't stop these marauding men. I am perplexed about the efficiency of our security apparatus. If we spend so much on them, what we get in return is more fatal suicide attack. This is surely the biggest and most powerful suicide attack in the world, as far as my knowledge is concerned.

Can we ever come out of this mess?

I have earlier stated that it is USA's policy to first create conditions which are suitable for attacking a country. It can only be done when a country becomes so weak that it cannot save the lives and properties of its citizens. With so many fatal suicide attacks it seems that USA is underway. But we have no evidence at this point that USA (or India) is behind this attack. Pakistanis tend to blame lot of things on both these countries. It looks, by the style of it, that it was carried out by a group of men who've lost everything in this world. Maybe they came from Waziristan where USA have been killing innocent men, women and children at will using drones. Maybe they came from once-peaceful Swat valley where Pakistan Army is carrying out a massive search and kill operation. Maybe the men behind the steering wheel came from some outdated madrassah or from some disoriented family. We cannot be sure. We have so many suicide bombings now that it is a routine work and probably our security agencies are not deeply studying the causes of such massive attacks. And that's bad news for all of us who want to know who is behind it and why. (I am ruling out poverty-stricken men because purchasing 1000Kg explosives is not for the poor or the weak).

One thing which I have noted is that more we take aid from USA / EU more our country comes under attack. It is a familiar pattern. Whenever some big American appears in Islamabad some sort of attack is carried out somewhere in the country. Off course we cannot rule out RAW's work, but it surely is related somehow to the aid we receive (economic, military, knowledge base, co-operation, etc.). And someone somewhere in the country is not happy when our govt. unabashedly receives aid bowl. But to justify suicide bombing as a measure of protest would be taking things too far.

So, can we disallow Americans (and their tragic aid) for at least three months on our soil and see the results? Just for the sake of experiment if nothing else.

p.s. This bombing and bloodshed of so many Muslims just after Iftar must have made RSS and BJP Hardliner Hindus quite happy. And surely pressure to bomb Pakistani market places must have eased on RAW. Just an idea...

Should we export Suicide Bombers?

Suicide bombing is bad for health. Doctors tell us that whosoever tries suicide bombing goes directly to God. Mullahs have other version to it. They tell us that whosoever suicide bombs Americans or Israelis or maybe Indians, he or she will directly go to heaven. It is not explained by the said mullahs of the country and beyond which heaven are they talking about.

Now, business studies.

I am told that as a good businessman I should be able to treat every item on the list as a commodity. I am further told, by my good teachers at MAJU, Karachi, that every commodity, no matter how good, should have a fine salesman at the helm. Otherwise it won't sell. I think we, as a nation we are a very bad sales team. We've got so much talent, a talent which causes anguish and horror in boardrooms at Pentagon and White House, and yet we have been unable to sell it. Oh, yah, Yankee doodle, I am talking about selling suicide bombers to potential purchasers. Well that looks outlandish. But when CIA can blow up (according to hundreds of thousands of Muslims) twin towers and get the small plane in Pentagon, then anything can happen. When Bush can smoke something in Iraq and when CIA (oh notty guys) can prove that Iraq indeed has thousands of nuclear weapons, then I can suggest exporting our most wonderful commodity, our suicide bombers.

Few months back I was told by someone from Waziristan that they have around 500 suicide bombers waiting for the right signal. He even told me that the lot included boys as young as 15 and their parents were very proud of their admission into the elite club. I was amply horrified but could not think of how a class of 500 suicide bombers full with knowledge of suicide bombing looked like? Did they look pensive? Or, did they act like crazy mad cap men out to undo American terror war guys in Afghanistan.

Unfortunately, these suicide bombers seems to be wasting their precious time and limbs on killing common Pakistani Muslims. They would do pretty good in their final exams if they could go out and blow NATO forces and US marines holed up in Iraq and Afghanistan. But how? Who would help them?

Firstly, they need direction and maps. Maps are available at Google Maps. But I am not sure whether instructors at Wahabi Suicide Bombing Class A+ (Waziristan) teach something about reading maps and finding the right enemy. Nor am I sure whether these suicide bombers are willing to travel far off distances to target the right men and women (i.e. the NATO and the US Armed Forces in Afghanistan). Maybe they are willing but somehow they see a Pakistan Army van and decides to blow them up. Or, they see a resturant and kill people there. How sick?

I hope Zardari would read my blog and think about exporting these suicide bombers - successfully - to Afghanistan to blow the right people. I think we can earn some good foreign exchange. In fact, we can covert 90 at Karachi into a World Class university for to-be Suicide bombers and that we can teach other nations about how to blow enemy up. Afterall, if your people are being killed surely you need a commodity which needs to be trained to fix things up. Maybe my suggestions are a trifle adventurous but I cannot find a better method to take our KSE Index to 15000 points once again.

Lastly, it is requested to Zardari and his cabinet and his friends that the Suicide Bombers must be exempted from all duties and all taxes. They are not luxury items. They are our most worthy commodity.

DISCLAIMER

Creative ideas are more creative and less real. Every blog must be read keeping this dictum in mind. Otherwise...