Why Zardari should marry?

Not only Zardari but all my un-married friends must marry. A good reason is that I am married and I want others to follow suit. Much better reason is that I find too many commons among the un-married or the widowed men and women. They act lonely - and stupid - at times, for example. And they do silly things which ought not to be done. Like, running a country on nothing except hollow promises and lots of housewives in cabinets and parliament.

Today's Dawn states very clearly that only three-day fuel is left with the Hubco power plant. Not that is not the only reason why should Zardari marry. There are other, equally good reasons around. For instance, someone from USA reported that Pakistan stands among the top ten most corrupt countries in the world. We are also short of water and United Nations has clearly told us that we will run out of all drinkable water within 25 years.

If Zardari marries a cool woman, he would be immediately told to mend his ways and the ways of his spooky government. Allowing street fights in Karachi won't help his vote bank. It would only strengthen Altaf Bhai, who would then re-marry in London. So before Altaf bhai or Imran bhai re-marries, Zardari must re-marry. I am sure son of Zardari-Benazair, Mr. Bilawal Bhutto Zardari (or Mr. Bilawal Zardari Bhutto) would not mind.

What if Zardari marries an odd woman. Well, here is how Pakistan would then operate:

1) All good-looking women of all the opposition parties would have their faces burnt with acid;

2) All rich women would be made poor;

3) All female maids would be dis-allowed near Zardari;

4) All shopping centers would be named Saukan Shaheed Benazir Funded Shopping Centers for Benefit of (new) Mrs. Zardari and Co.;

5) No more photo-ops for son and daughters of Benazir Bhutto;

6) And no more black ticketing outside cinema houses for Zardari fans;

and so on..........

These are perhaps the reasons why Zardari and my friends are not marrying. They are afraid that they will get a bad wife, who will shop on the funds provided by Asian Development Bank for the benefit of poor and down-trodden of this country.

But these are my views and Zardari needs not worry about them.

The unsettling of Karachi City Govt.

PPP has done everything to force MQM out. But as MQM wallas are as big a ghundas as PPP wallas are, the only man suffering is the common man. You and me. The recent spate in killings across much of old Karachi since last four days is a clear indication of what PPP wanted and what MQM can do back here in the city. President Zardari may be the richest man in the country and he may be the husband of a dead former Prime Minister. But Altaf Hussain is no chai walla. He is fully capable of extreme violence, when there is a need to be. And somehow many of Karachi's down-trodden and even rich support MQM and him. They reason that Altaf looks and acts much better than Zardari. On any given day it is Zardari who can count on much worse press than Altaf bhai.

But what is the point of killing and maiming over 60 people, 10 of them, when British delegation was in the city? What exactly is the point here?

The burning of over 3000 shops could not conclusively prove that MQM was behind the carnage. Police and Rangers were the culprits. And this goes back to Federal Govt. aka Zardari the President. Over 60 were killed, most of them Shia mourners. And then the rampage began in earnest, as if directed by a Hollywood director.

Nothing proves nothing has been a dictum now-a-days in Karachi. Hundreds dead and thousands have lost their jobs. Yet no conclusion has been arrived at. The only conclusion is that neither MQM nor PPP wants to leave Karachi alone. Hell with the general public. They want their powers in Pakistan's biggest commercial city. And PPP appears to be lagging far far behind. So much so that someone from President's office had to 'immediately' call Altaf Bhai in London to 'please stop bloodshed'.

Such is his power string from London. Who, then, may be supporting this loner from UK? Your guess is as good as mine!

Parrot says..............

Points to be noted my lord:

Zardari, President of Pakistan and former husband of BB, has split from his son, Bilawal and his daughters.

Bilawal plans to marry Fatima Bhutto, niece of BB.

Fatima Bhutto was always angry with Zardari and BB over the killing of her father, Murtuza Bhutto. Now she is only angry with Zardari and not with Bilawal.

Pakistan Army wants to arrest and put on trial Zardari for multiple murder cases. That might happen this March (2009) or next April (2010).

One daughter of Zardari might marry a son or relative of PM Gilani. (Against the wishes of her father).

Pakistan Army fully supports Gilani for he is easy to handle and not a nuisance like Zardari.

Nawaz Sharif has gained full support of Lawyers across Pakistan by standing up with them. He has been a lazy man all his life with lots of lassi, cricket and good food. Now he understands that good work alone will help him become the next President of Pakistan.

USA govt. is not so sure they want Nawaz in place of Zardari for Nawaz has always been a rightest and supports militants.

Months between March and June are crucial for Pakistan and for its neighbours.

Zardari supports Iran because Zardari is a Shia. USA is crossed over it. So are many Baluch who understand that Shias have been pouring into the country and have helped, in recent years, fighting b/w Shias and Sunnis.

India is finding it good to have Baluch on their side. They have already managed to take Pakistan away from Dam issue as well as from Kashmir.

India has got another front that of Mumbai drama. Indians of all shades are happy about the U-turn.

How Pakistan fares in months to come only time will tell.

If Zardari remains President of Pakistan for 20 years....

Then, following is expected;

1) Pakistan will become a colony of USA / World Bank / UK.

2) All Pakistani cities will have a casino dedicated to the memory of Benazir Bhutto and their title would be Shaheed Bhutto Casino.

3) Half of the population will sleep naked.

4) Girls from all class and all ethnic groups would be sold in open market.

5) Males of Pakistani origin would die of hunger; they would also serve under their gora masters.

6) Zardari would have then married three times, killing his wives after their insurance(s) have matured.

7) All industries would give Zardari a profit of 85%; rest will go to their original masters.

8) Islamabad would have by then be renamed as NON-ISLAM-ABAD

9) Zardari would be the richest men in the history of this world surpassing Firoun and Nimrud of ancient times and Bill Gates and King Faisal of our times.

10) Every second property would belong to Zardari.

11) Pakistan would be renamed as ZARDARI-TAN.

Mumbai drama - Part 2

Indians are incensed at what has happened to their major city and a popular destination. They cannot imagine that 15 young men - whoever they were - could hold ransom the entire mega city. Railway was closed; stock exchange was empty; all offices and schools remain closed the next day.

It is very clear that the protection of mega cities like Mumbai and Karachi cannot begin in the city itself. It needs to begin at a deeper level and much before the city itself. Once terrorists are close to you the only thing you can do is fire back. And when you are unarmed, as was the case with Taj's security, you can do nothing except run away.

But even when all this drama was going on one could sense that fire fighting capabilities of Mumbai were thoroughly inadequate. And the complexity and hugeness of the hotel itself added to the confusion - a really good reason why only 4 terrorists were able to hold back India's elite commandoes for 65 hours at a stretch. And, as Times of India relates in one of the stories, NSG took 9 hours to reach Taj Hotel for the assault. Adding to the confusion, various intelligence agencies, police men and other elite forces were fighting side by side. Although I am no expert in counter terrorism I can say with surety that only one coordinated force should be allowed to fight one particular group of men. As was evident on our TV channels, Sub-continental confusion was everywhere around the Taj.

Now, some questions.

For one thing, someone really important within the hotel is involved in all this. Else, how can you take so much extra ammunition into the hotel? And, why were those heavy RDX bags (8 Kg each) were not detected? I cannot also understand how could have these terrorists lived for so long without ever getting tired or sleepy while they were battling some 400 odd Indian forces? I also am answer less on how Indians have managed to successfully get all the answers they wanted to hear within 24 hours of capturing the only terrorist alive, Mohammad Ajmal Mohammad Amin Kasab.

Indian investigators, never so smart but always brutal, need to answer these tough questions. We can believe them when they tell us that every boat cannot be checked. We can also believe them that in front of AK-47s no one can stand especially if the shooter is a skilled man. I also cannot understand the Indian media response regarding these attacks. They are completely clueless and are only saying what their hawkish govt. is suggesting: That Pakistan may be involved, that it is the work of ISI (sic), that Pakistan should be taught a lesson (exactly what BJP wanted), and so on.

After the mayhem which killed over 200 men and women, guests and staff members, we need answers. But it is no answer to blame Pakisan or Pakistani ISI for all their own flaws. They need to go deeper and see the rifts which are tearing down India across its seams. Indians need to get more practical. By playing blame games they won't find any answers or solutions.

Marriott Hotel suicide attack

It is once again that we've seen a truck loaded with explosives (some say it was a car) ramming into the building. Last time it was FIA center in Lahore and more than 50 died that day. This time it is a favorite hotel for foreign visitors as well as local elite. From the photographs and the video it is very clear that nothing of the hotel is left except for the carcass. It is a sad reminder of things going too bad for us.

Who can blow up fellow Muslims in the holy month of Ramazan Sharif?

Our brand new Security Macho and Zardari-favourite, Mr. Rehman Malik, tells us that it can't be a Muslim. Well, most probably it is a Muslim from somewhere in FATA or probably Swat valley, where intense military operation is under way. So called Pakistani Taliban and their friends, Mujaheddin, have been fighting our forces, blowing up girls' schools, killing men suspected of aiding USA; trucks carrying oil supplies from Karachi inside Afghanistan for NATO forces have been targeted; trains carrying supplies have been derailed. And we've seen lot of other attacks openly being carried out against our various security agencies. And yet we have no solution. Just before this devastating attack (some say a 1000 Kg of explosives may have been used to create a 15ft deep Crater) we were listening to Mr. Zardari telling us that he has this vision to fight out the terrorists. And lo, terrorists struck again, this time in a zone marked as 'Red'. Either we've lost every sense of the term or we just can't stop these marauding men. I am perplexed about the efficiency of our security apparatus. If we spend so much on them, what we get in return is more fatal suicide attack. This is surely the biggest and most powerful suicide attack in the world, as far as my knowledge is concerned.

Can we ever come out of this mess?

I have earlier stated that it is USA's policy to first create conditions which are suitable for attacking a country. It can only be done when a country becomes so weak that it cannot save the lives and properties of its citizens. With so many fatal suicide attacks it seems that USA is underway. But we have no evidence at this point that USA (or India) is behind this attack. Pakistanis tend to blame lot of things on both these countries. It looks, by the style of it, that it was carried out by a group of men who've lost everything in this world. Maybe they came from Waziristan where USA have been killing innocent men, women and children at will using drones. Maybe they came from once-peaceful Swat valley where Pakistan Army is carrying out a massive search and kill operation. Maybe the men behind the steering wheel came from some outdated madrassah or from some disoriented family. We cannot be sure. We have so many suicide bombings now that it is a routine work and probably our security agencies are not deeply studying the causes of such massive attacks. And that's bad news for all of us who want to know who is behind it and why. (I am ruling out poverty-stricken men because purchasing 1000Kg explosives is not for the poor or the weak).

One thing which I have noted is that more we take aid from USA / EU more our country comes under attack. It is a familiar pattern. Whenever some big American appears in Islamabad some sort of attack is carried out somewhere in the country. Off course we cannot rule out RAW's work, but it surely is related somehow to the aid we receive (economic, military, knowledge base, co-operation, etc.). And someone somewhere in the country is not happy when our govt. unabashedly receives aid bowl. But to justify suicide bombing as a measure of protest would be taking things too far.

So, can we disallow Americans (and their tragic aid) for at least three months on our soil and see the results? Just for the sake of experiment if nothing else.

p.s. This bombing and bloodshed of so many Muslims just after Iftar must have made RSS and BJP Hardliner Hindus quite happy. And surely pressure to bomb Pakistani market places must have eased on RAW. Just an idea...

Karachi after Ramazan 2008

Everyone in the street is unhappy over lot of things. KESC gets the most marks and every second citizen thinks that it is better to have no KESC at all. Or if we really want it it should be a governmental body rather than a profit making foreign occupied existence. Unfortunately, no one heeds to the local man on the street. Zardari, the all-powerful president of the country, is too busy shuttling between UK, Dubai and Islamabad. He has no time to give to us.

Second most important issue relates to the future of MQM and its appointed (mostly corrupt and highly illiterate) gang of ministers, sub-ministers, their jamadars, police-wallas, officers, etc. Zardari is very keen on getting his own Nazim the hot seat of Karachi. He does not care about other, smaller cities of the state. But being a Nazim of Karachi means that virtually you can hold the country in a fix. With your orders, imported items may not travel up-country, a potentially explosive and worrisome issue for Punjabi establishment. As a city nazim you can also run around and make importers / exporters pay extra taxes. Water is also dependent on you so are the key areas of the country, the hottest Estate right next to Arabian Sea. And Zardari, being a Mr.10%, won't really like to share this cake with people like MQM.

So when he really starts removing MQM appointed men and women from key posts including the post of Nazim, what will happen to Karachi?

People on the street tell me, with much fear in their eyes, that a return to bloodshed which we saw in 90s, is imminent. It is a haunting feeling and one which educated, business-minded, settled Karachites really dread. If Karachi is in trouble country can't be much behind. Therefore, this idea of a possible confrontation between MQM and Zardari is bound to get people sweating everywhere from Khyber to Arabian Sea.

But is that the real issue we are facing right now? Well, no. Some hidden forces seems to be working round the clock to make Karachi into an inferno which will eventually burn the entire country. You can note that no major businessman is happy with how things have been going around. Karachi has started resembling pre-war Baghdad, if you will. And that is not a sort of thinking we want right now. A major issue concerning Karachi, apart from the displacement, is the threat of Talibanization of the city with crude force. And backing them will be their brothers, the Pashtuns from the North. And I am sure no Urdu-speaking or Karachiwalla (any ethnic group) can match the will-power or the fire power of Talibans and Pashtuns. And this prospect of Karachi acting as a battleground for power-hungry MQM vs Islam hungry Taliban is not a good one. If something of that sort happens - and we hope our trained and professional army will do something about it - then we can be sure that Karachi won't a place worth a visit.

I hope that these things won't happen but man on the street has been saying such things for some time now and it is worrying me a lot. And Altaf bhai, Pir of London Town, won't be happy either.