London riots and Altaf Hussain

Pir of London, Mr. Altaf Hussain, would be glad that his adopted motherland is burning to ashes right in front of him. The lovely, 1000-year old capital has http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifbeen hit by worst ever public rioting in living memory. This is something new for Londoners, people whose government has sent thousands of troops to kill and maim Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan. People who once ruled over half of the world. Today their own disgruntled youth has turned against them. And it is funny to note that the destroyer and butcher of Karachi, Altaf Hussain, is in London while all this is happening.

In recent weeks, since MQM, the main party of Karachi and Hyderabad, a party which is traditionally supported by Urdu speaking families, left the main coalition party in Sindh (PPP) the city of Karachi has been left in tatters. Hundreds of people, mostly immigrant Pashtuns, have been killed by the violent MQM party. The backlash from the Pashtun supported ANP has been almost equal. Thus, the stalemate. And now, after hundreds of Karachi wallas are dead MQM has again accepted - on certain conditions - the parcels from Mr. Zardari.

Now people are saying - and rightly, I think - that MQM's chief, Mr. Altaf Hussain, might perhaps be responsible for the rioting presently underway across much of UK. This might be a joke but there is an element of truth in this: When you support a known terrorist and give him home and office space, he might just one day turn on you. A snake, they say, never really forgets its real self. Therefore, UK government must not rule out the possibility of rouges such as Altaf Hussain taking part in the freeloading during riots.

Another bhai killed; more violence to follow

It is a done thing in Karachi and Urdu parts of Hyderabad and Mirpurkhas. That when the MQM leader is killed violence must follow. Karachi, the center of all MQM, is the hardest hit among the cities of this unfortunate country. This mega city, where the infamous center of attraction 90 (MQM Headquarters) is situated, sees the most blood around. And Pathans get the most whacking for God knows why.

Yesterday, MQM's kicked-out leader, Dr. Imran Farooq, was murdered with knives in London, a city much known for love-hate relationship with Pakistanis. First, it was match fixing scandal and now it is the murder of the former top leader of MQM, a terrorist organization, which has paired the names, 'London' and 'Pakistani'. And those two pairings have been rather unfortunate for the entire nation.

It must be noted that this particular leader had fallen out of favor of Mr. Altaf Hussain, the pig-faced leader of MQM, now stationed in London since 1992, some two years back. Since then, as some reports are today suggesting, he has been living in some sort of poverty. Just imagine a founder member of a party like MQM living in 'some poverty', is this not very strange? Not so. In Pakistani politics everything goes. Just look at Altaf Hussain and his antics on TV. He is crying like a fat baby whose most lovable toy has just been snatched. As is known among MQM cadre and party workers, Dr. Imran Farooq was no lovable toy of Altaf Hussain and that these 'crying' stints of its leader are just media-savvy.

In Karachi, the popular version today is that MQM itself has killed this man. One may not be sure because in London murders using daggers / knives is a pretty common crime. So, perhaps, Metropolitan Police, will be looking into this matter with all such facts, not least that he had fallen out of favor of its own citizen, Altaf Hussain. I hope this time around someone in London will catch the thief.

Karachi after Ramazan 2008

Everyone in the street is unhappy over lot of things. KESC gets the most marks and every second citizen thinks that it is better to have no KESC at all. Or if we really want it it should be a governmental body rather than a profit making foreign occupied existence. Unfortunately, no one heeds to the local man on the street. Zardari, the all-powerful president of the country, is too busy shuttling between UK, Dubai and Islamabad. He has no time to give to us.

Second most important issue relates to the future of MQM and its appointed (mostly corrupt and highly illiterate) gang of ministers, sub-ministers, their jamadars, police-wallas, officers, etc. Zardari is very keen on getting his own Nazim the hot seat of Karachi. He does not care about other, smaller cities of the state. But being a Nazim of Karachi means that virtually you can hold the country in a fix. With your orders, imported items may not travel up-country, a potentially explosive and worrisome issue for Punjabi establishment. As a city nazim you can also run around and make importers / exporters pay extra taxes. Water is also dependent on you so are the key areas of the country, the hottest Estate right next to Arabian Sea. And Zardari, being a Mr.10%, won't really like to share this cake with people like MQM.

So when he really starts removing MQM appointed men and women from key posts including the post of Nazim, what will happen to Karachi?

People on the street tell me, with much fear in their eyes, that a return to bloodshed which we saw in 90s, is imminent. It is a haunting feeling and one which educated, business-minded, settled Karachites really dread. If Karachi is in trouble country can't be much behind. Therefore, this idea of a possible confrontation between MQM and Zardari is bound to get people sweating everywhere from Khyber to Arabian Sea.

But is that the real issue we are facing right now? Well, no. Some hidden forces seems to be working round the clock to make Karachi into an inferno which will eventually burn the entire country. You can note that no major businessman is happy with how things have been going around. Karachi has started resembling pre-war Baghdad, if you will. And that is not a sort of thinking we want right now. A major issue concerning Karachi, apart from the displacement, is the threat of Talibanization of the city with crude force. And backing them will be their brothers, the Pashtuns from the North. And I am sure no Urdu-speaking or Karachiwalla (any ethnic group) can match the will-power or the fire power of Talibans and Pashtuns. And this prospect of Karachi acting as a battleground for power-hungry MQM vs Islam hungry Taliban is not a good one. If something of that sort happens - and we hope our trained and professional army will do something about it - then we can be sure that Karachi won't a place worth a visit.

I hope that these things won't happen but man on the street has been saying such things for some time now and it is worrying me a lot. And Altaf bhai, Pir of London Town, won't be happy either.

Altaf Hussain as a CNG Rickshaw driver…

I was thinking what would become of Karachi and the green CNG rickshaws, (legacy of debunked General & President Musharraf) if Altaf Hussain, Pir of London, Imam of Mohajirs of Karachi, were to suddenly transform from being a leader of MQM into an erstwhile rickshawala.

First, he won’t get any license. PPP wants all Sindhis, mostly un-educated and belonging to interior, to do everything. From sweepers to customs officers at port, to PIA’s various GMs, and the President of the god-damn country.

If in case he gets the license, he will do lot of things.

For one, he will not allow CNG rickshaw to remain green for ever. He will turn it into red blood with various slogans and his huge portraits, made white using extra box of talcum powder.

Non-Mohajirs won’t be allowed to sit in his CNG rickshaw. He will only allow Mohajirs to sit behind him (he likes everyone behind him!) He will also not use the traditional peep peep horn. In fact, he will use mulla-style speakers and blare MQM-zindabad slogans as he weaves his way across the city. His CNG Rickshaw will also not look like a CNG Rockshaw but more like a donkey fitted rickshaw. (Most of his party looks like a bunch of donkeys). And his CNG rickshaw will not climb the many idiosyncratic flyovers his assistant, Mr. Mustafa Kamal, has built around the city. So he being Altaf Hussain will flatten most of them much to the determinant of the city and its exploding population.

Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain will also not allow Pushtun-run buses to ply the city without harassing them. He will make sure that his red-blood CNG Rickshaw is always parked in front of their mini-buses. He will also try and poke Pushtuns and will try and provoke them. This will cause massive blood-shed in the city and Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain would ask all Mohajirs to carry arms so that they may protect themselves from the ‘terrorists’ Pushtuns. Thereafter, all CNG Rickshaws would be snatched at gun-point and other points from other drivers, painted red, with MQM flags installed and Altaf bhai portraits flashing with dark face and elephant white teeth. Then all these red-painted rickshaws will move behind Altaf Bhai’s rickshaw and will stop whenever he gives his comic speech to the millions of bhais and sisters of the city. (Meri behnoon tumhara kia, mein janoon mera Rickshaw janay).

Altaf Hussain is requested to remain in London and die there and not become the CNG Rickshaw driver in the city of Quaid-e-Azam. We can do without Altaf bhai riding the red-blood rickshaw. God Willing.