Why Zardari should marry?

Not only Zardari but all my un-married friends must marry. A good reason is that I am married and I want others to follow suit. Much better reason is that I find too many commons among the un-married or the widowed men and women. They act lonely - and stupid - at times, for example. And they do silly things which ought not to be done. Like, running a country on nothing except hollow promises and lots of housewives in cabinets and parliament.

Today's Dawn states very clearly that only three-day fuel is left with the Hubco power plant. Not that is not the only reason why should Zardari marry. There are other, equally good reasons around. For instance, someone from USA reported that Pakistan stands among the top ten most corrupt countries in the world. We are also short of water and United Nations has clearly told us that we will run out of all drinkable water within 25 years.

If Zardari marries a cool woman, he would be immediately told to mend his ways and the ways of his spooky government. Allowing street fights in Karachi won't help his vote bank. It would only strengthen Altaf Bhai, who would then re-marry in London. So before Altaf bhai or Imran bhai re-marries, Zardari must re-marry. I am sure son of Zardari-Benazair, Mr. Bilawal Bhutto Zardari (or Mr. Bilawal Zardari Bhutto) would not mind.

What if Zardari marries an odd woman. Well, here is how Pakistan would then operate:

1) All good-looking women of all the opposition parties would have their faces burnt with acid;

2) All rich women would be made poor;

3) All female maids would be dis-allowed near Zardari;

4) All shopping centers would be named Saukan Shaheed Benazir Funded Shopping Centers for Benefit of (new) Mrs. Zardari and Co.;

5) No more photo-ops for son and daughters of Benazir Bhutto;

6) And no more black ticketing outside cinema houses for Zardari fans;

and so on..........

These are perhaps the reasons why Zardari and my friends are not marrying. They are afraid that they will get a bad wife, who will shop on the funds provided by Asian Development Bank for the benefit of poor and down-trodden of this country.

But these are my views and Zardari needs not worry about them.

Parrot says..............

Points to be noted my lord:

Zardari, President of Pakistan and former husband of BB, has split from his son, Bilawal and his daughters.

Bilawal plans to marry Fatima Bhutto, niece of BB.

Fatima Bhutto was always angry with Zardari and BB over the killing of her father, Murtuza Bhutto. Now she is only angry with Zardari and not with Bilawal.

Pakistan Army wants to arrest and put on trial Zardari for multiple murder cases. That might happen this March (2009) or next April (2010).

One daughter of Zardari might marry a son or relative of PM Gilani. (Against the wishes of her father).

Pakistan Army fully supports Gilani for he is easy to handle and not a nuisance like Zardari.

Nawaz Sharif has gained full support of Lawyers across Pakistan by standing up with them. He has been a lazy man all his life with lots of lassi, cricket and good food. Now he understands that good work alone will help him become the next President of Pakistan.

USA govt. is not so sure they want Nawaz in place of Zardari for Nawaz has always been a rightest and supports militants.

Months between March and June are crucial for Pakistan and for its neighbours.

Zardari supports Iran because Zardari is a Shia. USA is crossed over it. So are many Baluch who understand that Shias have been pouring into the country and have helped, in recent years, fighting b/w Shias and Sunnis.

India is finding it good to have Baluch on their side. They have already managed to take Pakistan away from Dam issue as well as from Kashmir.

India has got another front that of Mumbai drama. Indians of all shades are happy about the U-turn.

How Pakistan fares in months to come only time will tell.