If Zardari remains President of Pakistan for 20 years....

Then, following is expected;

1) Pakistan will become a colony of USA / World Bank / UK.

2) All Pakistani cities will have a casino dedicated to the memory of Benazir Bhutto and their title would be Shaheed Bhutto Casino.

3) Half of the population will sleep naked.

4) Girls from all class and all ethnic groups would be sold in open market.

5) Males of Pakistani origin would die of hunger; they would also serve under their gora masters.

6) Zardari would have then married three times, killing his wives after their insurance(s) have matured.

7) All industries would give Zardari a profit of 85%; rest will go to their original masters.

8) Islamabad would have by then be renamed as NON-ISLAM-ABAD

9) Zardari would be the richest men in the history of this world surpassing Firoun and Nimrud of ancient times and Bill Gates and King Faisal of our times.

10) Every second property would belong to Zardari.

11) Pakistan would be renamed as ZARDARI-TAN.

Islamic new year and religious fantatics

Moharram ul Haram is Islamic calender's first month. Therefore, as a rule, it should be celebrated across Muslim world. All people of all religions and cultures celebrate their new years with various forms of prayers, worships, thanksgiving, alms giving, and lot of fanfare. Unfortunately, Muslims don't celebrate their new year in any special way. No special prayers are made; no one really cares to visit an orphan with gifts in hand; no one bothers to take time to buy special items for one's own family members. Tragedy of Karbala looms large on our new year. Though Karbala shows a classic example of sacrifice for the religion of Allah, some sects of Islam (eg. Shi'sm) consider any celebrations as against the norms and culture of Islam. Where these people have brought ma'tam (self torture by hitting oneself repeatedly by palm of right hand or by cutting one's head and arms and chest with sharp edged object) from cannot be ascertained. Too much twisting of historical facts must have gone in to convert an Islamic new year into a case for 40-day mourning. [No other religion in the world has any example of such long mourning].

One way of looking at Muharram is to look at Muslims themselves. Muslims, as a general rule, are seriously outdated in their approach towards life, business and almost all major products of our time. We are not media savy and anyone, even the stupid Hindu fundamentalists, can easily convince the larger world that indeed Pakistan was involved in Mumbai attacks on 26th Nov, 2008 (sic). We are also, therefore, incapable of defending our new year and its much needed celebrations. We are being taken on a ride by a minority which thinks, rightly or wrongly, that in Moharram they can dictate terms to the majority. Very sad that majority Sunnis cannot do anything substantial about the minority sect. Now that the President of Pakistan, that one idealistic man with no records to prove, is also a Shia, Moharram has become even more of a trouble than anything else. Pakistan, it must be noted, comes to a standstill during at least first 10 days of our Islamic new year.

I asked my elders whether these dramatic events were there during their good days. And I was told that only 10th Moharram would be a public holiday with a solemn march of Shias through the main M.A Jinnah Road, Karachi. Now, 5th Moharram march of shias bring Karimabad, mina bazaar, Liaqatabad, and other adjoining areas to a standstil. Then, 7th Moharram procession of shia stops almost half the traffic of Karachi (area around Kharadar, Saddar, M.A Jinnah road is badly affected). Then on 8th Moharram once again there is some shia procession through M.A Jinnah road. Then again, 9th Moharram is a public holiday for no good reason. 10th Moharram being the Ashura and one the greatest days in the Islamic calender, is once again a public holiday. One cannot but note that entire 10 days are wasted. Business suffers; people die during traffic jams; and much of these shia processions are actually violent. If they find any shop opened, they ensure that the shop is badly damaged or even burned. So sad, that in the name of Hazrat Imam Hussain (A.S) these people inflict untold miseries on so many people. If that is the message they understand of the grandson of Holy Prophet Muhammad (salahu alihi wasalam) then I am sorry they need to re-pack and get back to basics.

For one, what is the reason behind so many processions on such an important artery of Karachi. Why take the entire city hostage by closing M.A Jinnah road? Why not any other area? Why disturb millions of people for your own so-called religious activity? Did Imam Hussain (A.S) teach you to disturb so many people? I have asked this question to so many Shias but none has ever answered me. Because there is no answer to all this mess. And what purpose does this ear-banging marsiyas serve to countless Shias romping the city in their cars? Why can't you people just keep your religion to yourself? Again, no answer. How do you explain something which is at once irrational and highly disturbing.

Even the Shia a'lims don't stop their followers from disturbing the city for so long. No Shia a'lim ever takes stand against these illegal activities. Our police, which has a lot of Shia officers among its ranks, actually helps these road blockades. How sad!

I hope some Shia, holder of common sense, will read this blog and stop this mess once and for all. But, as is my experience with this country and with the Shias living here, things only go bad. And from bad to worse. Never good. Never better.

And our new year celebrations, it seems, would always be ruined by ear-thrashing marsiyas and city blocking long marches. Long live Pakistan!

Zionist Killing Machine and our pre-occupation

Israel has become a perfect killing machine, as is once again evidenced by the latest killings of common Palestinians yesterday and day before yesterday. An estimated 270 + Palestinians have been brutally bombed to their death. That includes lot of school children. And there is strong evidence that Israelis committed this aggression knowingly, that they would kill mostly innocent, unarmed civilians. In return only four Israelis have been killed.

Well, this brings to our past occupation, which I think has now gotten at back of our minds. The preoccupation with what Israel has been doing to Muslims in Gaza Strip instead of what we have been doing to our own people over the past six decades or so. What Israel does to Muslims in Palestine is open for all to see. We condemn such acts of violence. And we show our solidarity with the Muslims of Gaza Strip and the West Bank.

As Pakistanis, we rarely show ANY solidarity with the ones who are in jails; men and women bonded by bad luck and nasty waderas of our times. As Pakistanis, we rarely condemn acts of our Army. Whenever we do, that is subtle as we our afraid. Our army has been involved in many heinous acts. Every act condemnable in strictest sense; some as gruesome as the ones commonly perpetuated by the Israeli Army.

As fair and able minded citizens (and readers / writers) we must be able to see through the events. We must be able to analyse events and understand its implications. We must never forget men and women under occupation, in our land or on somewhere else.

Get lost, you dog!

Dogs are loyal but Bush is not. First his father (Bush senior) betrayed trust of Iraqis by allowing Saddam Hussain to continue killing Muslims. Then Clinton allowed the same policy in his 8-year rule. After Bush arrived on the scene, he wanted to desperately begin a war in Iraq which everyone knew was to get more free oil and help create vacuum in the power circle of Muslims. Iraq, Zionists believed, would itself become an example to vagabonds like Iran and Pakistan, both of which are considered as threats to Zionists aim of isolating Muslims, making them illiterate and subordinate to the power of Zionism, and finally destroying their Holiest places, Makkah Sharif and Madina Munawarra. Somehow, Muslims of our times are so illiterate that the aim of such ruthless Zionists seems to be right on target. (Good examples include Afghan puppet, Karzai and IMF puppet, Zardari).

Now, to the shoe.

In Arab world, as we are being repeatedly informed, showing someone the shoe is perhaps one of the greatest insults. Throwing a shoe is something horrible. And when an Iraqi throws both his shoes at someone while simultanously calling him a dog, that is an insult to remember. Even Bush, so dimwitted that class 5 kids are better of, would remember this double insult all his life. Just what good writers can imagine and what bad CIA agents in Washington can think, is reported below through an email forwarded by my friend, Raja Islam:

The pair of shoes which was thrown at Mr. Bush in Iraq has links to Pakistan, said a statement from Pentagon. They have the following proofs:

i) The journalist had visited Pakistan earlier this year.
There he was inspired by the shoe throwing at former CM Arbab Ghulam Rahim and Sher Afghan Niazi.

ii) He received his training of throwing shoes by a Pakistan based Jihadi organization.

iii) The DNA sample of leather has revealed that the animal whose skin was used for manufacturing the shoe had traces of grass which is grown in North of Pakistan and this skin was collected by a Jihadi organization on Eid-ul-Adha this month.

Hearing this, President Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani have decided to ban the Jihadi organization and launched a country wide crackdown against all the cobblers in Pakistan.

LUMS party, Islam & Pakistani culture

I am told by the mass sender of this and other related photographs, taken at Pakistan's elite college, LUMS, that this is the true Indian style, that Islam has nothing to do with them, and so on.

I am confused. And I am amused to a certain extent. Well, why shouldn't I be. After all, we Pakistanis are too much obsessed with things from outside that we forget our own culture. If Islamic point of view is not considered for the time being, this image has every reason to be part of our consumerist culture. We adore such images; we love such fun girls. Our mullahs, while preaching Islam and other items on daily basis, stare at women as if that's the last time they are seeing them. So is the case with our elite, and our jamadaars, and our cousins, ourselves and our fathers. So why blame these cute girls (isn't the girl in green absolute beauty?) for wearing half-dresses in LUMS party when there are open prostitution houses in Karachi, Islamabad, Lahore? Why blame them when we men are same or even worse. Why should Islam be dragged in all this senseless, good-for-nothing bargain counter? Why can't Pakistanis first decide the true definition of what is Islamic and what is Pakistani. Media - Indian dramas and all that - will bring such culture inside our homes. There is no stopping them. Only we can stop ourselves.

Instead of shouting foul when we are wrong ourselves we should concentrate on teaching ourselves and our friends and family members the value of media and how to identify positive media from negative. Education, and not shouting, can help us. The more we shout the more Indians (and consequently the ever-present Zionists Lobby, CIA, and other cartoon characters) have the reason to laugh on us. All Muslims, and not just Pakistani Muslims, are now a part of a circus. And this circus, partly caused by illitracy and partly by our fat mullahs, will do us no good. Nor can we Muslims save ourselves from the modern onslaught in this manner.

Greed at the forefront of terrorism

In Karachi every second man believes that most Pakistanis who are caught abroad having connection to a certain illegal activity is a Punjabi. That may be a pun but after repeatedly reading carefully the data of men and women caught in various countries (of Pakistani origin) I can confirm to my readers that indeed the assertion is to the point on most occasions but not all.

Pick Dawn (Pakistan's top English daily) any time of the year and the chances are you would find lot of Pakistanis caught smuggling heroin / drugs, caught while crossing into either Turkey or Greece; caught while attempting to fleece a foreigner women by first marrying her then getting off with her hard earned money. Most of the times the mention of a certain Pakistani caught, executed, remanded in custody will be from our biggest province, Punjab. Yet, somehow, Punjabis of all shapes and sizes deny this vehemently. As I write this blog today, early Sunday morning, I have yet another evidence to prove that greed and not religion is at the forefront of terrorism dropping from Pakistan's soil. Yet again men from Punjab are to be found guilty; yet again our Punjabi brothers will deny anything to do with this. But somehow, the entire operation in Mumbai last week was carried out by Punjabis (I won't call them Muslims for various personal reasons). The damning proof is for everyone to read from Guardian, ne of the best English papers in the world today:

'Ajmal Amir Kasab, interrogated in custody after last month's attacks, which killed 163 people, reportedly told Indian security officials that he came from a place called Faridkot in the Punjab province. His father was named as Mohammed Amir, married to a woman named Noor.'

and further,

'A villager, who cannot be named for his own protection, said the village was an active recruiting ground for the banned militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba. 'We know that boy [caught in Mumbai] is from Faridkot,' he said. 'We knew from the first night [of the attack]. They brainwash our youth about jihad, there are people who do it in this village. It is so wrong,' he added.

According to the villager and other locals, Ajmal has not lived in Faridkot for about four years but would return to see his family once a year and frequently talked of freeing Kashmir from Indian rule.'

Greed is a natural phenomena but a disproporionate quantity of it may be found amongst most Punjabis. For instance, they divert lot of water causing massive poverty in Sindh province; they disallow other ethnic groups to become part of our elite army; Punjabis remain an exclusive nation which sees itself as a superior ethnic group in Pakistan; they have more education than anyone else in Pakistan (this last example may not be itself a bad greedy bit but certainly it allows for much more), much thanks to Punjabi bureaucrats who are sincere to their own nation but not to all Pakistanis. Punjabis, as the popular saying runs around much of Karachi, interior Sindh and Baluchistan, can sell his mother for good money. So why won't he kill / maim helpless Mumbai wallas for millions of bucks (investigations into the actual amount paid to these terrorists by LeT are underway)?

I think that I am increasingly sounding very anti-Punjabi but for all these years data analsis collected in my brain tells me that indeed Punjabi greed has made Pakistan poorer not richer.

And somehow, we need to stop all this. This tremendous appitite for more and more money is causing massive international embarassment for all Pakistanis. I hope that saner voices among Punjabis would prevail in future and would be able to stop younsters, in search of a free ticket to Mumabi and a million dollar prize, from acting like killer machines.

Just hopes!

'Operation Clean-up' by Altaf Hussain (MQM)

It is very clear to me and to many other Karachi-wallas who is actually behind the murders of innocent, hard-working, labour class Pathans. It is apparent also that PPP govt. has given a tactical approval for disturbances in the city and that it has stopped Pakistan Army, ever so professional, in clearing the city of trouble makers. Why Zardari supports Altaf's policies in Karachi is not very clear beyond the idea that both are playing into the hands of West and possibly India and that they intend to cause maximum casualty to Pathans in Karachi. At the time of filing of this blog around 39 people are said to be dead in three days and over 100 are injured in various cross-firing incidents.

Are these events related to Mumbai terror attacks? Many Pakistanis believe they are. But one can say with some surety that even before the holy month of Ramazan there were rumours about an incoming 'operation clean-up' and that many Urdu-speaking people of Karachi (mohajirs, as they are called here for they migrated from India in 1947-48) were talking about some big killing spree against Pathans. One even told me, with fear writ large on his face, that how would mohajirs kill the fearless Pathans when even American / NATO appartus has failed to dampen their spirits in so many years? He was right on target but many mohajir miscreants, who are killing poor Pathans, are not.

But another angle of all this drama is why PPP-led govt. has failed to stop the massacres of so many Pathans and other common travellers in and around Sohrab Goth area? Why our Rangers have done almost nothing to stop this banging of peace. Already Karachi has been worst hit by pre-Eid inflation, drowning business prospects (much thanks to Khanani and Kalia's arrests), and the overall sadness prevailing in the city.

Will someone ask Altaf Hussain why can't he and his followers, now doing rounds in killing Pathans across much of Karachi, put their feet down and stop this cold blooded murder of innocent civilians? Will his Mohajir followers, who give life for him, question him on his role as a murderer of Karachi? Will any sane Mohajir step out and say sorry to hundreds of affected Pathan families, people who've had no control over anything regarding politics. But simply because they are Pathans they are being killed. As Mohajirs have traditionally called Karachi 'their city' it is their duty, if they have been innocent all through this carnage, to come out, speak against these events, and mark the offenders.

Long live Karachi!