Parrot says..............

Points to be noted my lord:

Zardari, President of Pakistan and former husband of BB, has split from his son, Bilawal and his daughters.

Bilawal plans to marry Fatima Bhutto, niece of BB.

Fatima Bhutto was always angry with Zardari and BB over the killing of her father, Murtuza Bhutto. Now she is only angry with Zardari and not with Bilawal.

Pakistan Army wants to arrest and put on trial Zardari for multiple murder cases. That might happen this March (2009) or next April (2010).

One daughter of Zardari might marry a son or relative of PM Gilani. (Against the wishes of her father).

Pakistan Army fully supports Gilani for he is easy to handle and not a nuisance like Zardari.

Nawaz Sharif has gained full support of Lawyers across Pakistan by standing up with them. He has been a lazy man all his life with lots of lassi, cricket and good food. Now he understands that good work alone will help him become the next President of Pakistan.

USA govt. is not so sure they want Nawaz in place of Zardari for Nawaz has always been a rightest and supports militants.

Months between March and June are crucial for Pakistan and for its neighbours.

Zardari supports Iran because Zardari is a Shia. USA is crossed over it. So are many Baluch who understand that Shias have been pouring into the country and have helped, in recent years, fighting b/w Shias and Sunnis.

India is finding it good to have Baluch on their side. They have already managed to take Pakistan away from Dam issue as well as from Kashmir.

India has got another front that of Mumbai drama. Indians of all shades are happy about the U-turn.

How Pakistan fares in months to come only time will tell.

Perils of Blogging

I have been threatened with dire consequences.

Well, that is good enough.

It tells you that you are important and that you are read somewhere. And that someone has the feeling about you. And that someone wants to hang you or kill you or burn you.

Fair enough.

Perils of blogging are many but not so many as compared to real journalism. We can argue what is real and what is fake, but let's leave that alone.

Once, someone wrote to me that he knew where I lived and that he wanted to kill me. I welcomed him. He never turned up despite the fact that I have my phone numbers and my address on web.

Very good, if someone wants to shoot.

Obituary: Demise of Dawn's Review

Obituaries are usually written for men or for good organizations, or popular restaurant joints. Or maybe for papers which have lasted 50 or so years, a long time by any measurement. Seldom, if ever, are they written for parts of national paper. I am breaking the tradition.

For me Review has been much more that a simple, A-4 sized mid-week, mag. In fact, first it was Tuesday Review and since that time I have been associated with it. My best memories of The Review are of a time when it carried my photographs of Karakoram Highway, my first ever photographs to be published in any paper. And I didn't knew that until I searched my name at google.com, which returned my article on 1st page. That was Thursday, 17th Feb, 2005, and interestingly that day's Dawn to my home did not carry Review copy. Perhaps it had been stolen mid-way; perhaps my akhbar-walla (newspaper man) had forgotten to insert it. Perhaps. But as luck would have it, I got to know it before the paper went to dustbins - of my friend Syed Taha Ahmed. I later went to his home and brought the copy. It was a proud moment and my good mother commented that the photographs really looked good. I reminded her that she had in fact viewed them many times over. On which she told me that photographs published in paper look drastically better than when viewed on computer screen.

Dawn announced today (must I say suddenly) in its front page that it is finally closing down Review and hashing it with Sunday Images. Which effectively means that the edition of 22nd January, 2009, was the last of its kind - and that it must be preserved for posterity. It is fitting then that my feature on Kunri titled, 'SPICE CITY: Hot and happening', was published in this issue. Four days ago (25th Jan, 2009) when I had emailed Review editor why the emails were being returned, I was give the following reply, 'Thank you for your contribution, however we're discontinuing the photo feature for a while.' The bombshell about the demise of Review would fall today, or so it was destined.

As a measure of protest, I am cancelling my subscription of Thursday's Dawn to my house. No need for Dawn if Review is dead.

If Zardari remains President of Pakistan for 20 years....

Then, following is expected;

1) Pakistan will become a colony of USA / World Bank / UK.

2) All Pakistani cities will have a casino dedicated to the memory of Benazir Bhutto and their title would be Shaheed Bhutto Casino.

3) Half of the population will sleep naked.

4) Girls from all class and all ethnic groups would be sold in open market.

5) Males of Pakistani origin would die of hunger; they would also serve under their gora masters.

6) Zardari would have then married three times, killing his wives after their insurance(s) have matured.

7) All industries would give Zardari a profit of 85%; rest will go to their original masters.

8) Islamabad would have by then be renamed as NON-ISLAM-ABAD

9) Zardari would be the richest men in the history of this world surpassing Firoun and Nimrud of ancient times and Bill Gates and King Faisal of our times.

10) Every second property would belong to Zardari.

11) Pakistan would be renamed as ZARDARI-TAN.

LUMS party, Islam & Pakistani culture

I am told by the mass sender of this and other related photographs, taken at Pakistan's elite college, LUMS, that this is the true Indian style, that Islam has nothing to do with them, and so on.

I am confused. And I am amused to a certain extent. Well, why shouldn't I be. After all, we Pakistanis are too much obsessed with things from outside that we forget our own culture. If Islamic point of view is not considered for the time being, this image has every reason to be part of our consumerist culture. We adore such images; we love such fun girls. Our mullahs, while preaching Islam and other items on daily basis, stare at women as if that's the last time they are seeing them. So is the case with our elite, and our jamadaars, and our cousins, ourselves and our fathers. So why blame these cute girls (isn't the girl in green absolute beauty?) for wearing half-dresses in LUMS party when there are open prostitution houses in Karachi, Islamabad, Lahore? Why blame them when we men are same or even worse. Why should Islam be dragged in all this senseless, good-for-nothing bargain counter? Why can't Pakistanis first decide the true definition of what is Islamic and what is Pakistani. Media - Indian dramas and all that - will bring such culture inside our homes. There is no stopping them. Only we can stop ourselves.

Instead of shouting foul when we are wrong ourselves we should concentrate on teaching ourselves and our friends and family members the value of media and how to identify positive media from negative. Education, and not shouting, can help us. The more we shout the more Indians (and consequently the ever-present Zionists Lobby, CIA, and other cartoon characters) have the reason to laugh on us. All Muslims, and not just Pakistani Muslims, are now a part of a circus. And this circus, partly caused by illitracy and partly by our fat mullahs, will do us no good. Nor can we Muslims save ourselves from the modern onslaught in this manner.

Greed at the forefront of terrorism

In Karachi every second man believes that most Pakistanis who are caught abroad having connection to a certain illegal activity is a Punjabi. That may be a pun but after repeatedly reading carefully the data of men and women caught in various countries (of Pakistani origin) I can confirm to my readers that indeed the assertion is to the point on most occasions but not all.

Pick Dawn (Pakistan's top English daily) any time of the year and the chances are you would find lot of Pakistanis caught smuggling heroin / drugs, caught while crossing into either Turkey or Greece; caught while attempting to fleece a foreigner women by first marrying her then getting off with her hard earned money. Most of the times the mention of a certain Pakistani caught, executed, remanded in custody will be from our biggest province, Punjab. Yet, somehow, Punjabis of all shapes and sizes deny this vehemently. As I write this blog today, early Sunday morning, I have yet another evidence to prove that greed and not religion is at the forefront of terrorism dropping from Pakistan's soil. Yet again men from Punjab are to be found guilty; yet again our Punjabi brothers will deny anything to do with this. But somehow, the entire operation in Mumbai last week was carried out by Punjabis (I won't call them Muslims for various personal reasons). The damning proof is for everyone to read from Guardian, ne of the best English papers in the world today:

'Ajmal Amir Kasab, interrogated in custody after last month's attacks, which killed 163 people, reportedly told Indian security officials that he came from a place called Faridkot in the Punjab province. His father was named as Mohammed Amir, married to a woman named Noor.'

and further,

'A villager, who cannot be named for his own protection, said the village was an active recruiting ground for the banned militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba. 'We know that boy [caught in Mumbai] is from Faridkot,' he said. 'We knew from the first night [of the attack]. They brainwash our youth about jihad, there are people who do it in this village. It is so wrong,' he added.

According to the villager and other locals, Ajmal has not lived in Faridkot for about four years but would return to see his family once a year and frequently talked of freeing Kashmir from Indian rule.'

Greed is a natural phenomena but a disproporionate quantity of it may be found amongst most Punjabis. For instance, they divert lot of water causing massive poverty in Sindh province; they disallow other ethnic groups to become part of our elite army; Punjabis remain an exclusive nation which sees itself as a superior ethnic group in Pakistan; they have more education than anyone else in Pakistan (this last example may not be itself a bad greedy bit but certainly it allows for much more), much thanks to Punjabi bureaucrats who are sincere to their own nation but not to all Pakistanis. Punjabis, as the popular saying runs around much of Karachi, interior Sindh and Baluchistan, can sell his mother for good money. So why won't he kill / maim helpless Mumbai wallas for millions of bucks (investigations into the actual amount paid to these terrorists by LeT are underway)?

I think that I am increasingly sounding very anti-Punjabi but for all these years data analsis collected in my brain tells me that indeed Punjabi greed has made Pakistan poorer not richer.

And somehow, we need to stop all this. This tremendous appitite for more and more money is causing massive international embarassment for all Pakistanis. I hope that saner voices among Punjabis would prevail in future and would be able to stop younsters, in search of a free ticket to Mumabi and a million dollar prize, from acting like killer machines.

Just hopes!