Greed at the forefront of terrorism

In Karachi every second man believes that most Pakistanis who are caught abroad having connection to a certain illegal activity is a Punjabi. That may be a pun but after repeatedly reading carefully the data of men and women caught in various countries (of Pakistani origin) I can confirm to my readers that indeed the assertion is to the point on most occasions but not all.

Pick Dawn (Pakistan's top English daily) any time of the year and the chances are you would find lot of Pakistanis caught smuggling heroin / drugs, caught while crossing into either Turkey or Greece; caught while attempting to fleece a foreigner women by first marrying her then getting off with her hard earned money. Most of the times the mention of a certain Pakistani caught, executed, remanded in custody will be from our biggest province, Punjab. Yet, somehow, Punjabis of all shapes and sizes deny this vehemently. As I write this blog today, early Sunday morning, I have yet another evidence to prove that greed and not religion is at the forefront of terrorism dropping from Pakistan's soil. Yet again men from Punjab are to be found guilty; yet again our Punjabi brothers will deny anything to do with this. But somehow, the entire operation in Mumbai last week was carried out by Punjabis (I won't call them Muslims for various personal reasons). The damning proof is for everyone to read from Guardian, ne of the best English papers in the world today:

'Ajmal Amir Kasab, interrogated in custody after last month's attacks, which killed 163 people, reportedly told Indian security officials that he came from a place called Faridkot in the Punjab province. His father was named as Mohammed Amir, married to a woman named Noor.'

and further,

'A villager, who cannot be named for his own protection, said the village was an active recruiting ground for the banned militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba. 'We know that boy [caught in Mumbai] is from Faridkot,' he said. 'We knew from the first night [of the attack]. They brainwash our youth about jihad, there are people who do it in this village. It is so wrong,' he added.

According to the villager and other locals, Ajmal has not lived in Faridkot for about four years but would return to see his family once a year and frequently talked of freeing Kashmir from Indian rule.'

Greed is a natural phenomena but a disproporionate quantity of it may be found amongst most Punjabis. For instance, they divert lot of water causing massive poverty in Sindh province; they disallow other ethnic groups to become part of our elite army; Punjabis remain an exclusive nation which sees itself as a superior ethnic group in Pakistan; they have more education than anyone else in Pakistan (this last example may not be itself a bad greedy bit but certainly it allows for much more), much thanks to Punjabi bureaucrats who are sincere to their own nation but not to all Pakistanis. Punjabis, as the popular saying runs around much of Karachi, interior Sindh and Baluchistan, can sell his mother for good money. So why won't he kill / maim helpless Mumbai wallas for millions of bucks (investigations into the actual amount paid to these terrorists by LeT are underway)?

I think that I am increasingly sounding very anti-Punjabi but for all these years data analsis collected in my brain tells me that indeed Punjabi greed has made Pakistan poorer not richer.

And somehow, we need to stop all this. This tremendous appitite for more and more money is causing massive international embarassment for all Pakistanis. I hope that saner voices among Punjabis would prevail in future and would be able to stop younsters, in search of a free ticket to Mumabi and a million dollar prize, from acting like killer machines.

Just hopes!

Mumbai drama - Part 2

Indians are incensed at what has happened to their major city and a popular destination. They cannot imagine that 15 young men - whoever they were - could hold ransom the entire mega city. Railway was closed; stock exchange was empty; all offices and schools remain closed the next day.

It is very clear that the protection of mega cities like Mumbai and Karachi cannot begin in the city itself. It needs to begin at a deeper level and much before the city itself. Once terrorists are close to you the only thing you can do is fire back. And when you are unarmed, as was the case with Taj's security, you can do nothing except run away.

But even when all this drama was going on one could sense that fire fighting capabilities of Mumbai were thoroughly inadequate. And the complexity and hugeness of the hotel itself added to the confusion - a really good reason why only 4 terrorists were able to hold back India's elite commandoes for 65 hours at a stretch. And, as Times of India relates in one of the stories, NSG took 9 hours to reach Taj Hotel for the assault. Adding to the confusion, various intelligence agencies, police men and other elite forces were fighting side by side. Although I am no expert in counter terrorism I can say with surety that only one coordinated force should be allowed to fight one particular group of men. As was evident on our TV channels, Sub-continental confusion was everywhere around the Taj.

Now, some questions.

For one thing, someone really important within the hotel is involved in all this. Else, how can you take so much extra ammunition into the hotel? And, why were those heavy RDX bags (8 Kg each) were not detected? I cannot also understand how could have these terrorists lived for so long without ever getting tired or sleepy while they were battling some 400 odd Indian forces? I also am answer less on how Indians have managed to successfully get all the answers they wanted to hear within 24 hours of capturing the only terrorist alive, Mohammad Ajmal Mohammad Amin Kasab.

Indian investigators, never so smart but always brutal, need to answer these tough questions. We can believe them when they tell us that every boat cannot be checked. We can also believe them that in front of AK-47s no one can stand especially if the shooter is a skilled man. I also cannot understand the Indian media response regarding these attacks. They are completely clueless and are only saying what their hawkish govt. is suggesting: That Pakistan may be involved, that it is the work of ISI (sic), that Pakistan should be taught a lesson (exactly what BJP wanted), and so on.

After the mayhem which killed over 200 men and women, guests and staff members, we need answers. But it is no answer to blame Pakisan or Pakistani ISI for all their own flaws. They need to go deeper and see the rifts which are tearing down India across its seams. Indians need to get more practical. By playing blame games they won't find any answers or solutions.

Should we export Suicide Bombers?

Suicide bombing is bad for health. Doctors tell us that whosoever tries suicide bombing goes directly to God. Mullahs have other version to it. They tell us that whosoever suicide bombs Americans or Israelis or maybe Indians, he or she will directly go to heaven. It is not explained by the said mullahs of the country and beyond which heaven are they talking about.

Now, business studies.

I am told that as a good businessman I should be able to treat every item on the list as a commodity. I am further told, by my good teachers at MAJU, Karachi, that every commodity, no matter how good, should have a fine salesman at the helm. Otherwise it won't sell. I think we, as a nation we are a very bad sales team. We've got so much talent, a talent which causes anguish and horror in boardrooms at Pentagon and White House, and yet we have been unable to sell it. Oh, yah, Yankee doodle, I am talking about selling suicide bombers to potential purchasers. Well that looks outlandish. But when CIA can blow up (according to hundreds of thousands of Muslims) twin towers and get the small plane in Pentagon, then anything can happen. When Bush can smoke something in Iraq and when CIA (oh notty guys) can prove that Iraq indeed has thousands of nuclear weapons, then I can suggest exporting our most wonderful commodity, our suicide bombers.

Few months back I was told by someone from Waziristan that they have around 500 suicide bombers waiting for the right signal. He even told me that the lot included boys as young as 15 and their parents were very proud of their admission into the elite club. I was amply horrified but could not think of how a class of 500 suicide bombers full with knowledge of suicide bombing looked like? Did they look pensive? Or, did they act like crazy mad cap men out to undo American terror war guys in Afghanistan.

Unfortunately, these suicide bombers seems to be wasting their precious time and limbs on killing common Pakistani Muslims. They would do pretty good in their final exams if they could go out and blow NATO forces and US marines holed up in Iraq and Afghanistan. But how? Who would help them?

Firstly, they need direction and maps. Maps are available at Google Maps. But I am not sure whether instructors at Wahabi Suicide Bombing Class A+ (Waziristan) teach something about reading maps and finding the right enemy. Nor am I sure whether these suicide bombers are willing to travel far off distances to target the right men and women (i.e. the NATO and the US Armed Forces in Afghanistan). Maybe they are willing but somehow they see a Pakistan Army van and decides to blow them up. Or, they see a resturant and kill people there. How sick?

I hope Zardari would read my blog and think about exporting these suicide bombers - successfully - to Afghanistan to blow the right people. I think we can earn some good foreign exchange. In fact, we can covert 90 at Karachi into a World Class university for to-be Suicide bombers and that we can teach other nations about how to blow enemy up. Afterall, if your people are being killed surely you need a commodity which needs to be trained to fix things up. Maybe my suggestions are a trifle adventurous but I cannot find a better method to take our KSE Index to 15000 points once again.

Lastly, it is requested to Zardari and his cabinet and his friends that the Suicide Bombers must be exempted from all duties and all taxes. They are not luxury items. They are our most worthy commodity.

DISCLAIMER

Creative ideas are more creative and less real. Every blog must be read keeping this dictum in mind. Otherwise...

US-China Cold War and Pakistan

US war on terror is clearly marked out as an American way of life. Nothing else can possibly justify this war or any other which US has led in this or past century. Area of interest, previously defined in terms of geography, has now expanded into every nook and cranny of this globe. In fact, US thinks it fit to call moon its area of interest!

Therefore, it is not hard to imagine that China's growing influence on world economy (and subsequently, politics) is in direct conflict with America's dwindling influence in world markets. No more does US dollar shakes European economy as it did perhaps 15 years back. And no more is US in the list of 'must visit' country as it used to be prior to this joke of war on terror.

Pakistan, therefore, is in big trouble. China thinks of Pakistan as a long term partner and friendly neighbour without bragging about it. US is no friend of Pakistan and in fact, has started bombing civilians inside F.A.T.A region without as much as apologizing. And still it brags about long-term interests with Pakistan and its people (sic and sic again). Pakistani army is finding it hard to say or do anything about this ever rising political drama on its land and today, Gen. Kayani, in a fit of rage, asked Americans to stop bombing inside Pakistan. He was very vocal that Pak Army has signed no deal with the Americans which may allow them to bomb hideouts inside our territory. We are waiting for US response.

Meanwhile, Chinese engineers continue to disappear. It is very interesting to note that no engineer or any other nationality is ever abducted. And this has been a case since long. We can clearly note that apart from USA no other nation has any interest in abducting Chinese engineers in Pakistan and eventually killing them.

It is then clear that US would do anything and everything to belittle China using Pakistan. Already, Gwadar port is malfunctioning due to extreme level of terrorism in Baluchistan. We now understand that US does not want to allow China access warm waters of Pakistan as it would allow China to do roaring trade with Middle-East and beyond and cut down transportation costs.

War on terror is also being deliberately pushed upwards towards Chinese border with Pakistan. We have already noticed something called Pakistani Taliban moving towards Swat and beyond. The tourist valley of Swat is now being touted as a safe heaven for terrorists and US is asking Pakistan to do more. You might hear similar things about Hunza Valley and Sost valley and eventually about Pak-China border in years to come. We have also see a spate of so called Islamists taking some time out during Beijing Olympics. I see red here. Why were these so-called Islamists not doing anything before the games? And how come they are related to Taliban in Afghanistan? And who supports them? For sure, many of these must have gone through Pakistan. And they are serving similar purpose of destablizing the center as Pakistani Taliban are doing here. The only major difference is that whereas in China these so called Islamists or Taliban are swiftly executed without much fanfare in Pakistan they lead pretty comfortable lives and blow up fellow Muslims on daily basis. It is very interesting to note that American interests are never harmed by these so called Jihadis and the only sufferers are Pakistani assets and Pakistani muslims.

For sure, US has reached the heart of our country and will surely harm our relations with China. It does not like the way China has progressed at world stage. It hates to note that non-English speakers, non-whites, small people are calling the shots. Therefore, Pakistani territory is the next hot spot and once again we are in the mess of what we call Cold War. This time, though, China won't forgive USA.

Is Karachi ready for Osama bin Laden?

Hello folks. Oh sorry. Asalam u Alikum Ya Taliban & Ya Osama bhai and other Jihadis.

MQM chiefs have reportedly informed govt. of Pakistan (aka PPP and lots of coalition partners) that the threat of Talibanization to Karachi looks imminent. Mildly put, it means that we will all be Taliban sporting lot of things you see at National Geographic programs which are on Afghanistan. You will also like to blow up school girls, like Mama Parsi, and other brilliant places of education; you would also like to keep doctors away from your wives (one won’t do); you would also like to throw away your camera as photography is not much appreciated by them (never mind Osama bhai always gives video interviews). You would, if in case we have MQM replaced with Talibans and Al-Qaeda, also have to replace Bhai Altaf’s photographs, posters, and 90 from Karachi. In place of them we would need lots of Osama shots: Osama praying, Osama marrying yet another woman, Osama praying again, Osama tapping suicide bombers, and Osama doing everything else. Lot of printing jobs would be offered, but to those having flourishing beards, amamas (Arabic term for turban), and wives in tow (I think Jamatias will take away all the jobs!)

So, do we need Taliban / Osama bin Laden in Karachi?

One major change which Karachi is likely to see, if that happens, is the destruction of roads. Taliban don’t need much roads. They are hardy mountain people and Osama, an Arab, has now gotten used to tough terrains as well. So, the crazy-ness which our young, happy Nazim shows about building and re-building roads would be gone. As I stated earlier, so would the posters of Altaf bhai pastered with pan peek and niswar decorations. We would also not hear much about road-side muwalis (caste-aways) and charsees (drug addicts); and the wholesale business of Heroin at various Tombs would also go down. Various liquor shops around Karachi, especially at Shahra-e-Faisal and Defence areas, which are really very visible, would also need to shift their business elsewhere, maybe to Lahore. We would also see an end to prostitution which happens openly at Lea Market, Tariq Road and Defence (all phases). We might also see an end to expensive ad campaigns and the stars of Ad agencies and GEO Bhago network would be preaching in masjids called GEO masjids. We might as well see our 25th December replaced with the birth anniversary of Osama’s 33rd child. All in all, it would be fun for some and no fun for many others.

But Osama is not a happy man. He and his Taliban friends like to destroy historical sites (destruction of Bahmian Buddhas built over 100 years and which stood there for over 2000 years), does not like to have Americans and other investors around; he and his Taliban friends also apparently hate games (the execution of prisoners during Taliban time took place in football stadium, Kabul). Osama bhai also does not appear to be a great fan of beaches either. So no night parties anymore.

Oh yes, 90 will surely become 9/11!